youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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