She said her name was "party"
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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