She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
he's gonorrhea incarnate
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
