Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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