I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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