i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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