Walk of Shame. In a state park.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
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I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
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I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Drake has all the answers
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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