Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
