I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
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