Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
