Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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