He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
