i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
