Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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