i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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