just tell him i said nine months
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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