if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
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