Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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