kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
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