i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
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