it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
