I am puke
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
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