Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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