i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
It's blow job season.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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