Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
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He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
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he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
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