you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
