My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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