im holly from the hills drunk
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
