I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
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I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
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listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.