Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
