I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
