if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level