blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
