did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
