Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
