Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize