Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
