Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
