im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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