just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Randomize
