i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm getting married
To pizza
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
