I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
