no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
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Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
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We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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