It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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