So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
