your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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