I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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