What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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