It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
