i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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