Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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