i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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