watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
