I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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