but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
