hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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