hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
