Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
