Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
