God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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