I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
do herpes really smell.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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