I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
You smell like stripper and shame
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
