Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
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