Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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