Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
